I am worried about my own behaviour

By making yourself more aware of your abusive behaviour it will become easier to make changes and stop.

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Are you hurting the ones you love? Choose to stop.

Recognising you are abusive

You might have done some things only once or twice, but in many cases you will notice that there is a pattern to the abusive things you do. By making yourself more aware of your abusive behaviour it will become easier to make changes and stop.

Recognising the effects on your family

Your behaviour will be having a serious effect on your partner, ex-partner, other family members and children. Even if your children have not seen you being violent or abusive, it is almost certain that they will have overheard things and felt the tension.  Your children may be directly hurt, being caught in the cross fire or may intervene to protect your partner.

Take responsibility

It is your responsibility to stop your abusive behaviour.  Stop blaming your actions on your partner or other things such as drugs, alcohol, stress at work. It is up to you what you do and how you behave.

Choose to stop

Your abuse is your decision.  If you want to build a loving relationship, not one based on fear, you need to make changes. Just because you've been abusive in the past does not mean you have to be abusive again. Choose to stop.

Only you can address and change the situation. Only you can choose to stop being violent and abusive.

Other support agencies

  • Respect phoneline – a confidential and anonymous helpline for anyone concerned about their violence and/or abuse towards a partner or ex-partner.  Also providing support for frontline workers who work with domestic violence perpetrators.